Letter to a girl I want to ask out

This is a letter I've been working on to a woman I want to ask out. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Dear ____________,

I think you are very attractive. By that, I mean your personality is attractive in addition to your body. That is to say in addition to thinking about your body, I also think about your personality and although I occasionally objectify you, I don't mean to do it in a degrading sort of way. Well, not THAT degrading anyway.

I think I have a lot going for me and would make a potentially good long term match for you. Some of the reasons are:

a. I resemble David Cross (see my last blog entry).

b. I am somewhat hilarious. People have actually read this blog to this point which means that they are enjoying it so far or are reading it aloud to torture the Al Qadea prisoners at the undisclosed locations now that they are closing Camp X-Ray. In reality, I'm probably just mildly amusing to everyone else, but I try really hard which brings me to...

c. I am willing to do anything, including humiliate myself by writing a blog entry begging you to go out with me. I'm also really good at writing songs about you, rapping "Bust a Move," and setting up the world's largest domino presentation (not really) all to publicly debase myself in order to get a positive response.

d. I am not a stalker. (More on that in a later blog entry for those of you interested in stalking.) If you say you are not interested in a relationship, I will not continuously show up at your work with flowers, candy, and a handgun; I will not keep calling your sister and/or your shoe store until you call me back; and I will not follow you to baseball games, take pictures of you, and leave collages of you on your doorstep.

Would you go out with me? Sorry to ask you this in a letter like this. I'm sure as attractive as you are, you receive letters like this every day. Trust me, this is not a form letter. I didn't copy any of this off the web (well, maybe the part about the dominoes). I look forward to a positive response, but have also have prepared myself for a negative response by having my Air Supply CD and a package of Nutter Butters ready.

Love,
The Chronic Nice Guy