An open letter to Steve Martin

I am going to send this letter to Steve Martin in the next few days. I'll let you know if I get a response.

Dear Steve Martin,

I recently saw that you were making The Pink Panther 2. I was also disappointed to see that you wrote the two new Pink Panther movies. Don't get me wrong, writing anything without emoticons these days is quite an accomplishment, but didn't Peter Sellers sort of close the book on the Clouseau character? I know you are capable of writing and starring in funny movies. The Jerk, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and L. A. Story are all very good.

If you are suffering from writer's block, it's okay. I know some very funny writers who have some good scripts that they can send you - not me. Don't get me wrong, I can often be hilarious, but usually only writing letter like this, manifestos, and unabridged "Will you go out with me?" notes.

My guess is that you are strapped for cash. After all, you also recently made Cheaper by the Dozen 2. I have therefore enclosed $1 in the hope that you will go on television and read this. Perhaps others will send money and you won't have to feel the pressure of writing and making so many movies.

Sincerely yours,
The Chronic Nice Guy

P. S. Please don't be insulted by this letter. After all, I wrote you because I think you are an intellingent and capable comic actor, which is why I found your last few movies so disappointing. That's why I wrote to you. If thought it would have made any difference,. I would have written to Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy long ago.