Plans for a smarter gene pool

i've been trying to put up with them, but I think Mike Judge was right in Idiocracy - if we don't do something, stupid people are going to take over the earth. On a recent trip to San Francisco, I walked by Ghirardelli Square, where I heard the following conversation between a 40 year old man and his mother.

40 year old idiot: "Do you think Ghirardelli Square was named after the chocolate company?"
Idiot's mother (also an idiot): "No! Absoutely not! I'm sure it's just a coincidence." (This was not said sarcastically).

What made this comment horrible is not the stupid observation that was made, which we are all prone to making, but the even dumber response from one of his chromosome suppliers. I heard this one in New York City this weekend.

Girl in baseball cap: "Do you know what I don't get? Girls who wear baseball caps."

She had to put on the basebal cap and wear it outside!!! I think I just sort of had a small aneurism just thinking about that one again.

So, I've been thinking about possible solutions to the problem and here's what I've com up with:

1. Needle Brigade

We give needles to people who don't think Chicago is a state, that windmills "steal" your wind, and don't know who Joe Biden is, but know who won "Tool Academy" on VH1.

When someone says something stupid, the member of the needle brigade waits for the response.  If it is also stupid, the person responding to a stupid question covertly is injected with a needle to be sent off to a preserve where stupid idiots live in their natural habitat, where they are forced to watch "Are you Smarter than a Fifth grader?" over and over on a big screen until they learn something.

2. Idiot Plague

Many of our top scientists spend a lot of time on reinventing the same drug.  Is Xyzal really that different from Claritin-D?  Why not invent a plague that kills idiots.  It doesn't even have to be airborne.  They could just get a bee to say to ask your doctor to prescribe it, then describe the side effects:  It will kill you if you're an idiot.  People will still take it, because after all animated bees know a lot about prescription drugs.

3. Genetically engineer a super-predator that feeds off the brains of people who are stupid.  

Animals can sense fear in humans - why not stupidity?  Scientist could even engineer a pack of mutated wolves if a big nuclear irradiated monster is not feasible.  A word in advance to Tokyo:  if this is the option we go with, move.