An open letter to people who have borrowed my DVDs and never returned them

Dear ______________,

First of all, I thought we were friends. That's why I loaned you _(DVD title)_ but it's been ____(long length of time)___ and not only have you not returned __(DVD title)___, you ask me to borrow __(considerably more expensive DVD title, possibly a box set)____.

Well, the answer is no! I've had it with your lame excuses like ___(lame exuse), or __(even more lame excuse, most likely involving dragons)____, and when you say "I forgot". If I borrowed one of your movies, I wouldn't forget. Then again, I might consider it. I might have a chance of actually getting my movie back.

Sincerely yours,

The Chronic Nice Guy