An open letter to girls who have considered going out with me but don't because I'm just a nice guy and not as exciting as an athlete or rock star

Dear girls who have considered going out with me but don't because I'm just a nice guy and not as exciting as an athlete or rock star,

First, I am sometimes exciting or at least funny. In a good way, I think. Well maybe not hilarious funny, but maybe mildly amusing. That's sort of got to count for something. Speaking of hilarious, did you know that there was a Pope Hilarious? I'm serious, check it out. See, if you would have dated me you would have learned that. Do you think the Foo Fighters know about Pope Hilarious. Most likely not, although their name is somewhat hilarious, but more just stupid.

Also, I am not exciting in a bad way. If I owned a set of golf clubs, you wouldn't have to use them to bash in my car window and lacerate my face. I don't even own a car anyway. Or golf clubs. I don't even own a deck of cards with clubs in them. Speaking of have you ever seen David Blaine's Street Magic. That show is amazing. The You Tube parody is pretty funny too.

Well, one day those guys won't be athletes or rock stars, they'll be Assistant Manager at the Jiffy Lube. If they are lucky, the Dairy Queen. Then they would bring home rainbow sprinkles instead of the bacon. Thats the only saying that uses bacon as a currency.

I just sort of wish I had a deck of cards. Maybe I can trade a few strips of bacon for it.

Thanks,

The Chronic Nice Guy