Second Date Ideas

One of my friends posted a status update on Facebook asking what she should do on a second date, so I've been thinking a lot about that for the past few weeks. Here's some of the ideas I've come up with:

1. Interrogation session #2

If your first "date" happened at Camp X-Ray or an umdisclosed location, this would be the perfect thing to do on your second date. Since you've already seen your date naked and know if they are into bondage, escalating things physically may be a bit tricky. For dating tips in this direction, check out the CIA documents released by the Obama administration. Since it became physical so quickly, I would tend to focus on getting to know the person. What's their favorite Disney movie? Do they own a cat? How do they feel about infidel/non-infidel relationships?

2. Cutting out pictures of your date from Olympic gymnastic magazines

Although you aren't doing this in the same room, your date is clearly sending you signals from the magical rays eminating from the television set. This also accomplishes two things, getting to know your date's body by studying pictures of her in her leotard and building your shrine to her per the instructions of Count Chocula. Date #3: Getting past her security and scaling the fence outside her house.

3. Wiring your $10,000 to your future fiancée in Nigeria

After your first three hour online chat, your date "who is really pretty lady who like sunset and really enjoy have good time with middle aged man/woman," all she needs is to get to you after being stiffed by the lawyer from the Russian modelling agency where she works. This date will initially make you feel good, but eventually will result in a second mortgage on your home. Similar date #2: investing in AIG circa July 2008.

Well, that's the best I can come up with while at a non-date, listening to historically accurate Viking metal. If I think of any more, I'll post them later.