I'm back!!!

After a LONG hiatus, I am back writing my blog. What have I been up to all this time? A LOT. Well, not really. (People at work, I have been doing a lot. Trust me. I'm writing this just for the comedic value of the blog. I work ALL THE TIME, SO DON"T CALL ME!) I've watched a lot of the show Kitchen Nightmares. For those of you who have seen it before I'll summarize:

Part 1
•Host, Chef Gordon Ramsay: Hello, we're here at _________ restaurant.
•Gordon Ramsay orders food. Eats food. It is a. bland, b. covered in garlic or c. covered in garlic, yet still somehow bland. About 50% of the time, he excuses himself to the bathroom to throw up.

Part 2
•Gordon Ramsay confronts the owner. The owner thinks the food is fine. Gordon Ramsay and the owner get into an argument. One or both threaten to walk off the show.

Part 3
•Gordon Ramsay looks through the kitchen and freezer. He finds rancid meat and shoves it in the face of the chef and the owner. Then he yells at them, "I'VE EATEN HERE!!" It's usually at this point he finds a dead mouse. He yells at them to clean up the kitchen. The restaurant staff spend the entire night cleaning up.

Part 4
•The staff attempt to serve dinner the next night, during which Gordon Ramsay finds additional mice or mice droppings in the rancid meat. He yells, "SHUT IT DOWN!!" Then dramatic music and... scene.

Part 5
•Gordon Ramsay takes the staff on a team building exercise, usually involving milking something.

Part 6
•Gordon Ramsay pares down the restaurant's menu and tells them to use fresh ingredients. The serve dinner. It is a struggle but they make it through. He leaves the restaurant and gives his prognosis for the restaurant. Even though most of the restaurants fail, he gives a hopeful summary while they play music from a 1988 Full House episode in the background.

Sorry if I ruined the show for you, but it is less predictable than The A-Team. (Yes, I know that show was predictable, but did you see the one with the migrant workers and the bazooka that shot heads of lettuce or the one where the senior citizens chased down the drug dealers while using walkers? Sheer genius!!!

Well, anyway... I'm back. Unlike the movie version of the A-Team, I'll try to be as good as the original, gold necklaces, feather earrings and all.